In 100-150 words, respond to two peers’ main posts. Offer your thoughts on the effectiveness of your peer’s revised paragraph. Make a suggestion for possible further revision. Also comment on your peer’s approach to the revision process. Identify any considerations or strategies that your peer may not have identified initially.
Yarianne Direntau Avila,

Anne Lamott, in her essay, “Shitty First Drafts” says, “The first draft is the child’s draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later” (Lamott 1). This is exactly how I feel. I had a teacher once who told me just to let whatever is in my brain spill out onto the paper. That way, whatever is in my brain thinking about the words that I will use to express my thoughts can work on what I put on paper. I try to remember that because what spills out in my rough drafts is so bad that I usually have a hard time seeing how to make it better.

Original Paragraph

Similarly, parents with inadequate knowledge are likely to frustrate the treatment process. It is worth noting that the treatment process is bound to be involving. Parents are to be alert on every move. This area is very significant in managing developmental issues. Providing adequate education to parents fosters their effectiveness in the treatment process. They will be more vigilant during recovery.

Revised Paragraph

Similarly, parents with inadequate knowledge are likely to frustrate the treatment process. It is helpful to educate parents on what the treatment process involves. Parents should be informed on each aspect of it and be able to ask questions when necessary. This type of parental control is significantly useful when it comes to children with developmental delays or disorders. Parents who understand what is happening can be more involved and more helpful to healthcare providers. They will also be more vigilant when their child is recovering, and this can speed recovery.

I do though manage to make my rough drafts better by leaving them alone for a day or so and returning to them. By then, my brain has done the work that needs to be done, and I see another way to express what I have said that I like better. Richard Bullock, Michael Brody and Francine Weinberg, authors of The Little Seagull Handbook say that giving oneself time to revise is important (Bullock, Brody and Weinberg, The Little Seagull Handbookd 13). Bullock and Maureen Daly Goggin, author of The Norton Field Guide to Writing agree. Revision should take place after sufficient time has been allowed since the rough draft was created (Bullock and Goggin, The Norton Field Guide to Writing 351).

Works Cited:

Bullock, Richard and Maureen Daly Goggin. The Norton Field Guide to Writing. 5th. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2019. Print. 29 April 2021.

Bullock, Richard, Michael Brody and Francine Weinberg. The Little Seagull Handbookd. 3rd. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2016. Print. 29 April 2021.

Lamott, Anne. “Shitty First Drafts.” Bird by Bird. New York: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, 1994. Web. 29 April 2021. .